Ugly Blend

from $18.00

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” as the saying goes. It seems, however, that that is just a nice way of saying “A face that only a mother could love". Either way, you don’t have to be a looker to enjoy Lukewarm Ugly Blend. A hair-raising combination of South American and African coffee beans roasted to a grizzly dark roast, the flavor is a solid 10, brewed even for people who are a solid 4 to enjoy. Take that paper bag off your head and get a swig of our Ugly Blend today!

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“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” as the saying goes. It seems, however, that that is just a nice way of saying “A face that only a mother could love". Either way, you don’t have to be a looker to enjoy Lukewarm Ugly Blend. A hair-raising combination of South American and African coffee beans roasted to a grizzly dark roast, the flavor is a solid 10, brewed even for people who are a solid 4 to enjoy. Take that paper bag off your head and get a swig of our Ugly Blend today!

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Some may consider this poor Goblin man ugly. That can be no further from the truth!

I mean… sure, his skin is as sallow and green as a wrinkled pickle. Sure! His chin looks like it got scared and hid somewhere in his neck flabs. And sure—his eyes are the color of rotten eggs.

You'd be telling the truth about his nose being an unfortunate bulging protrusion on his otherwise tiny face. And there's truth in the fact that his lips looks like deflated tires. It's no lie that his hair is frazzled, and his beard is splotchy—even for being bald! So his teeth aren't very good... his arms are too short... his ears are floppy, and his neck even looks like a deflated Macy's Day Parade balloon.

Even so, I'm sure you'll love this dark roasted blend of South American and African origin coffee that will help all of us, no matter how ugly, have a good personality even on the earliest of mornings!